International Journal of Servant-Leadership
Abstract
As an only child, I grew up in a home where love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding were frequently observed and practiced, but very rarely put into words. Despite the fact that their marriage ended after several years of consistent arguing, my parents made a very concerted effort to raise me in an environment that embraced these unspoken truths. It was not uncommon for a disagreement between me and my parents to be resolved with nothing more than a subtle nod of the head, few brief words, and a hug. To me, growing up in the midst of these intangible notions of acceptance and love was very liberating as it allowed us to air our grievances and vent frustration in what seemed like a consequence-free environment. As adults, my wife and I have worked very hard at developing this same environment in our relationship with each other and our children. Like many marital relationships our marriage relies heavily on love, compassion, and understanding to help us navigate through the troubles of everyday life. However, the realities of adulthood have illuminated the fact that no matter how much we wish for a consequence-free environment, actions and words spoken out of anger carry with them hurt, frustration, and disappointment that must be vocalized for healing to begin. This realization was not discovered without effort. Initially, I was resistant to the notion that my childhood understanding of love and forgiveness might be flawed and searched to discover how another perspective could improve upon a notion that I've always considered to be unimpeachable. During my search I came across a passage written by Robert Greenleaf, in which he describes a lesson learned during a sociology lecture. While discussing the role of man and institutions, Greenleaf's professor stated that one can "stand outside and criticize and bring pressure; but nothing constructive will happen until someone who is inside and has her or his hands on some of the levers of power and influence decides to change something" (as cited in Spears, 1995, p 18). After reading this passage, I came to the realization that by resisting an opportunity to see myself from another perspective I was in fact standing on the outside and criticizing, and that nothing constructive would occur. At that moment I decided that I would place my hands on my own levers of power and allow myself to be vulnerable to change. To this end, I would like to examine how an argument between me, my wife, and my mother has forced me to confront the value of justice and forgiveness.
Recommended Citation
Smith, Greg
(2011)
"Life of Justice and Forgiveness,"
International Journal of Servant-Leadership: Vol. 7, Article 8.
DOI: 10.33972/ijsl.166
Available at:
https://repository.gonzaga.edu/ijsl/vol7/iss1/8
Copyright Information
Copyright 2011 The Author(s). All rights reserved